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Islamic Education research network launched at University of Warwick

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غلاف كتاب أربعون مجلسا صحبة الحبيب صلى الله عليه وسلم

 Now let's bring some more focus on how the husband should treat his wife as God has asked Muslim men to:

It is not demeaning if the husband shares in the responsibility of house matters, such as the mending of garments or things of the kind. Also it shows good manners that the husband helps his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has just gave birth or similar to that. For Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) used to fix his shoes, and used to be helpful to his wives.

Al-Aswad narrated: "I asked Aicha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do at home?' She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.'" [Bukhari].

A good husband is he who cooperates with his wife by being tender and kind to her. Islam considers husbands who are best at helping their wives are the best of mankind.

Also the husband should set a specific time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife. The relationship between a married couple cannot be warm and stable unless the couple begins removing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of, it shows her that he loves her.

Also, let's keep in mind that nobody is perfect. So there is no doubt that the husband will see things in his wife that does not meet his natural preferences. If such qualities are not opposing the fundaments of the Islam or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not push her to change her personality so that it complies with his natural preference.

Islam states that a husband should not try to expose his wife's bad qualities, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between them, and will surely threaten their marital life. So the husband should overlook his wife's drawbacks and mistakes, and make her falling into them seem like something small.

Also the husband should not give little importance to implementing the punishment required for any acts in opposition to Islam, which a wife has committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the main reason that stirs the husband's anger.

The woman is the head of the house, the one responsible for it. So the husband should not meddle into affairs that do not fall into his area of duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the order of the house.

Also Islam forbids the husband fro scolding his wife or blame her for a mistake she made, in front of others, even if they are their own children.

Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives."

Having jealousy and caring about the modesty of the wife is a praiseworthy thing, which shows the husband's love and care for her, provided that the husband does not go to extremes in his jealousy. For then at that point, it would turn into something negative and will badly affect their life.

Moreover the husband should not enter the house suddenly, for he might shock his wife, he should prepare her for his coming, and when he comes in he should greet her with Salaam (Islam greeting).

Aicha (one of Prophet Mohammad's wives) has narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips.

And ask about her and how she is doing.

Also husbands and wives should beware of spreading any secrets connected with the intimate encounters they have with each other, for that is something forbidden in Islam.

The husband is also asked to take care of the way he looks the way the wife is asked to look beautiful in the eyes of her husband. The husband should constantly maintain the cleaning of his mouth and the freshening of his breath.

Showing respect and kindness to the wife's family is showing respect and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death.

When a husband speaks to his wife, he must choose the kindest and nicest words and expressions for his speech. And not to reprimand her in front of others or in front of the children. Same thing goes for the wife; she should be kind and talk to her husband using nice and sweet words.

Also it is not proper for a husband to force his wife to look for work or to spend her wealth on supporting the house, for this is his responsibility.